For my 50 minutes of Global Revision on my paper, I spent more time with sources and then spent some time writing my paper. After looking at my first draft, I realized that I should probably add a third point to my paper. In order to do that, I was going to need to add more evidence and quotes to support my third claim. Therefore, I spent around 30-35 minutes going through the Greenfield chapters and the Turkle TED talk, looking for evidence for my third point. After I felt that I had significant evidence, I decided to work on incorporating the third claim into my paper. In the 15 minutes I spent working on it, I was able to get a good beginning to my point, but it still needs a little more work. My next step in the global revision process will be to tune up my other claims, possibly adding more explanation or “I say” to each of the quotes/evidence.
Thanks for posting your update. I appreciate your use of writing terms to explain your changes. I look forward to reading your revision!